Do you qualify for Indian citizenship? (Hindutva bylaw edition)

apodictically Yelets hqWe want you to be prepared for a changing India. One where we are ready to embrace our Hindutva heritage and rid ourselves of any diversity, free thought and rational opinion. Our quiz is based on the latest Hindutva ideas available in India that are steeped in ignorance and bigotry – traits that you will need to thrive in the years ahead. All the best!

Do you qualify for Indian citizenship?

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Question 1
Which of these animals deserves to live the most? cattle
A
Buffalo
B
Cow
C
Oxen
D
Bull
E
All of the above
Question 1 Explanation: 
Cows are the most important and all our cultural sensitivities are mostly reserved for the cow. We have far more liberal laws when it comes to slaughtering buffaloes, bulls and oxen. In fact, so much so, that India is the world's leading beef exporter (beef = the flesh of a cow, bull, or ox, used as food). .............. Sources: 1) Report of the National Commission on Cattle, Department of Animal Husbandry, Dairying & Fisheries (DAHD) - http://www.dahd.nic.in/dahd/reports/report-of-the-national-commission-on-cattle/chapter-ii-executive-summary/annex-ii-8.aspx 2) Cattle slaughter, in varying degrees by Rukmini S, The HIndu, March 5 2015 - http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/cattle-slaughter-in-varying-degrees/article6956046.ece?homepage=true 3) India on top in exporting beef by TCA Sharad Raghavan, The Hindu, August 10 2015 - http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/india-on-top-in-exporting-beef/article7519487.ece
Question 2
Which of the following statements related to 'tobacco' do you agree with more?
A
Tobacco improves digestion and Indians may be immune to cancer caused by tobacco.
B
Indians must be warned of the ill-effects of tobacco.
Question 2 Explanation: 
BJP's MP Dilip Gandhi was made the head of the parliamentary committee to put large graphic warnings on tobacco products. His arguments against the matter included - “There is no study which shows that tobacco causes cancer…there are people who have chewed tobacco but survived for 100 years." and "Tobacco actually improves digestion.” Thankfully good sense prevailed and his arguments were quashed. Starting April 2016, there will be bigger pictorial health warnings on tobacco products. .............. Sources: 1) Now, BJP MP Dilip Gandhi says tobacco helps in digestion: Report, Hindustan Times, April 3 2015 - http://www.hindustantimes.com/india/now-bjp-mp-dilip-gandhi-says-tobacco-helps-in-digestion-report/story-a0bhPMQXLHxUpFv1a95GqN.html 2) Veterans Dig out 65 Studies to Prove Dilip Gandhi Wrong, The New Indian Express, April 3 2015 - http://www.newindianexpress.com/cities/chennai/Veterans-Dig-out-65-Studies-to-Prove-Dilip-Gandhi-Wrong/2015/04/03/article2744209.ece 3) Bigger pictorial health warnings on tobacco products from April 2016: Health Ministry, Firstpost, September 20 2015 - http://www.firstpost.com/india/bigger-pictorial-health-warnings-on-tobacco-products-from-april-2016-health-ministry-2449510.html
Question 3
If you were a Hindu women, it is your duty to produce how many children?
A
One
B
Two
C
Three
D
Four
E
Zero
Question 3 Explanation: 
"Sakshi Maharaj and Sadhvi Prachi have a special interest in how HIndus procreate. The good old “शेर का बच्चा, एक ही अच्छा” (for a lion, one offspring is enough) is now outdated. Here is how to make the best use of your 4 offspring: #1 can go to protect the borders #2 can serve the society #3 can be given to the saints #4 to the VHP to serve the nation and protect the culture" .............. Sources: 1) Every Hindu woman must produce at least 4 kids: Sakshi Maharaj by Sandeep Rai, The Times of India, January 6 2015 - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Every-Hindu-woman-must-produce-at-least-4-kids-Sakshi-Maharaj/articleshow/45782862.cms 2) BJP sends show-cause notice to Sakshi Maharaj, The Times of India, January 12 2015 - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/BJP-sends-show-cause-notice-to-Sakshi-Maharaj/articleshow/45858587.cms
Question 4
What if someone opposed a viewpoint held by a Hindu? (eg. Against idol worship, superstition etc.)
A
Its okay. There's nothing wrong with holding different viewpoints.
B
Kill the person.
Question 4 Explanation: 
Noted litterateur and rationalist, Malleshappa M Kalburgi was shot dead at point-blank range at his house in Karnataka. Kalburgi had several run-ins with Hindu groups over his remarks on idol worship. Govind Pansare, a progressive public intellectual, was shot dead in Kolhapur in Maharashtra. Two years ago, Narendra Dabholkar was gunned down in Pune. A doctor-turned-activist, Dabholkar campaigned in rural Maharashtra against religious superstitions and black magic. Activists of the Vishva Hindu Parishad and the Bajrang Dal, which are constituents of the Sangh Parivar, a family of Hindu organizations of which the BJP is a part, have been brazen in their celebration of the killing of rationalists. To better understand the brazenness of our HIndutva youth, see the tweet by Bhuvith Shetty in the DNA article link below. Bhuvith is a Bajrang Dal leader. After the death of Kalburgi he tweetes: "Then it was UR Anantamoorty and now it is MM Kalburgi. Mock Hinduism and die a dogs death. And dear K.S.Bhagwan you are next." .............. Sources: 1) Rationalist thinkers under attack in India by Sudha Ramachandran, Asia Times, October 5 2015 - http://atimes.com/2015/10/secular-thinkers-under-attack-in-india/ 2) MM Kalburgi Murder: Bajrang Dal leader arrested for threatening tweet , Daily News & Analysis (DNA), August 31 2015 - http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report-mm-kalburgi-murder-bajrang-dal-leader-arrested-for-threatening-tweet-2120476
Question 5
Where do rapes happen in your country?
A
Bharat
B
India
Question 5 Explanation: 
Mohan Madhukar Bhagawat has been the chief of India’s premier vigilante organization, RSS since 2009. When the country was embroiled in dealing with the Delhi rape case, Bhagwat educated us by saying that western values need to be blamed for increasing rapes in urban India. Bhagwat claimed that violence against women, in the way of rapes and gangrapes, is a phenomenon unique to urban India and that such ‘things’ do not happen in rural India, where traditional values hold sway. .............. Sources: 1) Rapes happen in India, not Bharat: RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat blames western culture for gangrapes, India Today, January 4 2013 - http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/rapes-happen-in-india-not-bharat-rss-chief-mohan-bhagwat-blames-western-culture-for-gangrapes/1/240709.html
Question 6
A group of girls wants to go out at night. What wil you tell them?
A
"Bye! Have fun!"
B
"I'm sorry, you can't. It's against Indian culture. "
Question 6 Explanation: 
Union culture minister Mahesh Sharma told a TV channel - "Girls wanting a night out may be all right elsewhere but it is not part of Indian culture". BJP leader Subramanian Swamy further clarified This whole idea of night out for women is against the culture, but even for men it is against our culture. "Our culture says you should wake up at 4 am in the morning. If you are going to have a night out, how can you wake up at 4 am?" .............. Sources: 1) Night out for girls not in our culture, says Union culture minister Mahesh Sharma, Times of India, September 19 2015 - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Night-out-for-girls-not-in-our-culture-says-Union-culture-minister-Mahesh-Sharma/articleshow/49019712.cms 2) Subramanian Swamy backs Mahesh Sharma's remark, says Indian culture suggests people to be early risers, Zee News, September 20 2015 - http://zeenews.india.com/news/india/swamy-backs-mahesh-sharma-says-wild-binging-unacceptable-for-both-men-women_1799655.html
Question 7
Who should decide which movie Rajnikant should star in next?
A
Rajnikant
B
BJP and Hindu leaders in Tamil Nadu
Question 7 Explanation: 
In order to ensure our morals are not compromised, BJP hardliners have warned Rajinikanth against accepting film offer on Tipu Sultan since the 18th Century ruler ‘committed atrocities against Hindus’. .............. Sources: BJP, hardliners warn Rajinikanth against accepting film offer on Tipu Sultan by Arun Janardhanan, The Indian Express, September 13 2015 - http://indianexpress.com/article/entertainment/movie-on-tipu-sultan-rajinikanth-warned-against-accepting-film-offer/
Question 8
If you were a Hindu in Kutch, Gujarat and looking to attend a garba function, what will you have to do before entering the function?
A
Buy a ticket and enter
B
Prove your Hinduness by sprinkling cow urine on yourself
Question 8 Explanation: 
According to local saffron outfit known as the Hindu Sangathan Yuva Morcha, not just Muslims, entry for Hindus is also restricted into the garba functions unless they agree to sprinkle cow urine on themselves and apply tilak on their forehead. .............. Source: Outrageous Navratri garba rules: Muslims banned, Hindus to sprinkle cow urine, DNA, October 3rd, 2015 - http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report-outrageous-navratri-garba-rules-muslims-banned-hindus-to-sprinkle-cow-urine-2131181
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9 thoughts on “Do you qualify for Indian citizenship? (Hindutva bylaw edition)

  1. How can Cow survive with out a Bull if all Bulls are Killed OR if there is’t sufficient Bulls.
    I think you do not understand why all animals must be preserved not killed.

    1. Unfortunately the fact is that our laws for Bull slaughter are more liberal. Bulls can be slaughtered in certain states with a valid certificate much more easily than cows can (see the states in yellow here http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/cattle-slaughter-in-varying-degrees/article6956046.ece?homepage=true). This contributes to the thriving beef export industry.
      So essentially, our sensitivities don’t extend to the male counterparts of the same species!

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