Muriaé Aren’t we lucky to be witnessing the era of Acche Din? In 2020, you can extend the joy of being a Bhakt to every aspect of your life. This year, forego your normal, boring vacation and opt for a special package from Hindutva India Tours, Leisure & Entertainment Retreats (H.I.T.L.E.R). Our exclusive, customized tours are designed to provide you with first-hand experience of some of the greatest hits of our beloved nationalistic government. Relive the excitement of Demonetisation, experience Normalcy like never before and bask in the glory of Ram Rajya.
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Book Today!
To book your tour, give us a missed call at 1800-I-LOVE-MOTABHAI
Note: Dissatisfied customers can contact one of our 24X7 concierge service for refunds. You can choose to receive your refund as a physical beating or through online-harassment. Choose from Bhagat Singh Kranti Sena, Sanatan Sanstha or the Hindu Janajagruti Samiti (HJS)
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Loved the satire. Sorry we have reached this stage of affairs.
And, a luxury package will include additional activities, such as :
1. The brown nosing competition:
You will take turns to stick your nose and tongue to your Leader’s posterior, five minutes for each participant…the one emerging with the brownest nose wins the Bhakt#1 special award
2. The Rigveda approved Faux Pas game –
You will be given a random subject and asked to speak for five minutes on it. The one making the most innovative observation / discovery or providing the most out of the box solution wins
Examples include:
Mathematics: derive the extra 2ab from a given formula
How many zeros are there in a trillion
(You will not be allowed to consult your opposition team leader)
English: spell STRENGTH the way it has never been spelt before
3. Treasure hunt – Find the document
You will be provided a description of a mythical college major, based on which you will be asked to go find the graduation certificate for the same
[Note: no participant is known to have won this game yet, despite being provided unlimited time]
4A: Shoot your own soldiers –
You will be given a deadline, before which you have to bump up your sagging popularity by secretly shooting your own soldiers, and successfully blaming it on your opposition team.
The more people you shoot, the more points get added to your popularity.
The current baseline number is 40
4B: Immediately after completing 4A above, you will be required to sneak into your neighbor’s yard and destroy as many trees as possible, as “retaliation”. If, in the process, you can also shoot down your own transportation and driver… bonus points.
You will be provided limited cloud cover to avoid detection by your enemy.
There are more games under development- eg, build the biggest statue, paint the judiciary saffron, as well as extreme adventure sports like MorningWalkWithoutBulletproofVest… etc, details of which will be shared soon
IMPORTANT NOTICE: The event organizers have determined the following items as weapons of mass destruction, and subject to immediate confiscation:
The constitution
The tricolor
Any written material exceeding 280 characters
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